Wait for it....

Waiting…. wondering…. that is always the hardest part for me. I can deal with the situations (well, once I get over the actual news, good or bad) but the waiting…. so hard.  

I can only imagine Mary and the disciples on this their Sabbath day, still grief stricken from the ugly heartbreaking experience of watching Jesus die on the cross, trying to wrap their heads around all of it.  The conflict of their brains and their hearts. Standing there in unbelief the day before as Jesus actually took his last breath with the words “It is finished”. I know I would’ve been thinking “He is God’s son isn’t He, why is this happening? God wouldn’t let this happen would He? “  Oh my goodness my faith would’ve been rocked to the core.  This isn’t what it was supposed to look like...life was going to be so good...this Man is my Savior …(however, Mary had no idea what having a Savior was supposed to mean or even look like) Did she have an idea in the back of her mind about Jesus rising from the grave? I don’t know… we have always been taught or heard about Jesus dying on the cross for us and rising from the dead on the third day but she had never heard that …. it was happening before her eyes. Jesus mentioned it but did she even understand what He meant?  But regardless of her knowledge she had to wait….. wait to apply the burial spices and oils, which were super important not only to mask the death smell in the hot Palestinian weather but a personal and loving gesture of anointing  a loved one with very expensive oils….. (which I have to say I have access to even today….. will explain later … stay tuned)

As a woman, who loved someone so much, to be told they have to wait to attend to their loved one is crazy hard….Mary wanted the best for her Jesus and to tend to his body in a loving manner but due to the sabbath she was forced to wait. It had to be gut wrenchingly hard for her. Like if your child is going into surgery and you have to just sit and wait in the waiting room until it is over……..or a mammogram comes back as “suspicious” but you have to wait til the results come in…. even harder.…or your husband who knows the wilderness like the back of his hand is “lost” but you know he isn’t lost but that it was a medical incident or foul play…..or that a bad, bad man is in a shootout with police and you know your hubby is smack dab in the middle of the fire fight and knowing there are officers down..(those were two of my hardest days).  But it’s in the waiting that you can learn some of the deepest things about yourself, who you trust, who your friends are and how awesome Jesus and God really are.  It may seem like you’re in a deep hole and all alone with your panic and grief. Lean into the wait…. experience the emotions but don’t get caught up in it. Jesus knows and tells you that Joy comes in the morning whatever your circumstance. That Joy he spoke of is thru His perspective and in His timing and sometimes that Joy might be that you or your loved one wakes up in Heaven. Sheer Joy, right?  Listen to the still small voice of Jesus that whispers in the waiting room of life…….. just wait…….

ps… so the burial oils and perfumes…. Mary was going to anoint Jesus with Myrrh.. the burial oil of choice…. Did you know it is mentioned 3 times in the Bible regarding Jesus. The first time was when the wisemen brought Him Frankincense and Myrrh… (didn’t make the connection til right this minute...whoa.. they brought Him his burial oil…crazy awesome ) the second time was when He was on the cross they offered him a bit of wine mixed with myrrh to help with the pain but Jesus refused it. Then Nicodemus brought about 80pounds of it to use when they buried Him. It was very expensive but was very aromatic to cover the smell of decay.

Myrrh comes from a small bushy tree, cultivated in ancient times in the Arabian peninsula. Myrrh was used raw or crushed and made into an oil to make a perfume. It was also used medicinally to reduce swelling and stop pain.  

Spikenard was not a traditional burial oil. It was very costly and was the oil Mary used to anoint Jesus feet and wiped with her hair. It was reserved for special occasions and was a genuine and pure oil used in worship. Spikenard is a costly spice which comes from a very rare plant and is usually blended with olive oil for anointing acts of consecration, dedication, and worship.  Interesting that this is what Mary was bringing to anoint Jesus body with.

As I said before, it is crazy awesome that we have access to these oils today…I am going to get myself some……... want a bottle of it? ….I can hook you up!

(comment below if you want more info and we will chat about it )

Palm Sunday musings

I'm feeling a bit melancholy today.... I mentioned to my hubby that Easter season feels so different since we moved to Mayberry... He hasn't had a weekend off since we moved here almost 8 years ago. I decided to work Sundays too to make it more bearable. That means Easter has been and still is a work day.... It feels weird not to be sitting in Church and singing the songs (I probably don't even know the new songs since it has been so long since I have gone to church regularly) it makes me sad that I don't have any reason to buy a fancy Easter dress or prepare easter baskets. BUT it has made me reflect deeper on the why.... the why of Easter and not getting caught up in the pomp and circumstance and theatrical portrayals of Easter. It's just me and Jesus and my rawness.

So today....Palm Sunday starts my reflection... Jesus , because he is the Son of God and was an obedient son at that, knew what was about to transpire in the next week. He knew it was the beginning of the end of his earthly life.... Knowing that, He chose His vehicle of transportation. Now mind you he could've picked a very impressive entrance ...after all it was His last chance for recognition. The horse stands for war; that's what the people wanted. They wanted a leader who would set them free from the crazy gov't of Rome. Besides a big tall horse would be impressive. But, Jesus chose to ride a donkey, a symbol of meekness, cuteness but mostly of peace. He could've come in like Royalty with all of the normal ceremonial stuff. How different are the swishing of palm branches from the click of crossed swords or the deafening blast of a twenty-one gun salute. He chose peace, lowliness and very "it's not about me" attitude. How can you not love that?
He comes in as a king... the people wanted that, they accepted him as a King who would deliver them, but He was a king who enters Jerusalem on a cute donkey... I bet some of them were thinking.."Whaaaaat?!" He then gets off and goes for a walk to a hillside. From that perspective, overlooking the city He loves, he cries....weeps for the people. I also think that since he is truly man as well as God that perhaps being in tune to his human side, He cried for himself... I want to think that He truly was able to experience his human emotions and was scared and raw but knew his Father (my Father God) would work it out for Good..(I want to believe that because I want to know that He experienced some of the emotions I experience as a silly girl) He goes on to talk to the people who had just hailed him as their King but He refuses to give a campaign speech as any earthly leader would do. Instead, He tells it like it is, predicting domestic breakdown, economic catastrophe, wars, rumors of war, earthquake, famine, and all of the horrible desolation which you and I bring upon each other. We are still bringing it on ourselves. We are so dumb. That's the kind of King He is. He tells you and me what we need to hear, not just what we want to hear. He talks about more than positive thinking. He talks about more than picking yourself up by your own bootstraps. He tells you that you can't succeed ultimately in your own strength. He warns you to face up to it now and to come to Him while you can.

So today, Palm Sunday, as I sit in my old jammies not even realizing it is a Sunday, I am super thankful ..no, more than thankful......I'm grateful.. for Peace and truth and honesty and cute donkeys.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

On the 25th Day of December my daughter gave to me...... ( my gifts to Jesus)

ME!  .........silly girl, wife, mommy, mother-in-love, daughter, sister, friend, sinner, lover of Jesus, child of God!

As we get ready to welcome family into our home and sit and open presents, I look at the wrapped gifts. Some are so pretty with perfect bows and glistening paper and some are fancy gift bags with tons of tissue paper billowing out the top and others are more simple and plain with a name written on the tag or the ones in a trash bag with a bow (because they're too big for a gift bag or paper or a man wrapped it...lol) In the end it doesn't really matter what the wrapping looks like, because the gift inside is what matters. Sometimes I feel like the fancy wrapped gift and other times I feel like the trash bag. But inside, my heart is what Jesus wants and loves.

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus....thank you for being so awesome and not being picky about my wrapping paper!

(manger in the barn next to the Inn of Pinterest)

Merry Christmas to you and your Kin

The 24th day of December my daughter gave to me...... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Family.......  my handsome hunka hunka burnin love, my precious sonshines, my gorgeous daughter in love,  fun and loyal four legged fur babies....

I am a blessed silly girl...I truly don't deserve the wonderful people God has given me but I accept them with heartfelt gratitude. I hope I have handled them well and treat them with His grace and love. I know that sometimes when I look at them I well up with emotion, my heart filling up with so much love and pride that I think I might burst. (sometimes I do burst and it oozes out thru my fingertips and onto your screen!)  But Today I give them to Jesus for I know He will continue to bless them and keep them in the palm of His hands. That He will guide them thru life with it's ups and downs so that they may grow and learn to lean on Him and love Him more deeply.

This Christmas Eve may you feel the deep love and pride and grace that God has for you as you celebrate the birth of Sweet Baby Jesus.  He really does love me....and He really loves you too!

Merry Christmas....... may you have Joy and Laughter and oodles of Blessings in the coming year!

from my almost Mayberry little family to yours................. barra     oxoxoxoxoxo

No time like the present....

On the 23rd day of December my daughter gave to me........ (my gifts to Jesus)

My focus.... scatterbrained, ADD head, easily distracted, never finish my projects, there's got to be an oil for this!

So as I sit down to write this blog post today I have a million things that need to be done yet..(don't we all on Dec 23rd?  please say yes!) I have started on 999,998 things and have only finished 2 so far. Ugh!  I am so scatterbrained and ADD ( no offense but I truly believe that had ADD/ADHD been a diagnose-able issue in the mid '70's I could've been a poster child!) Ok that being said I made a decision to get my mind together and get stuff done in an orderly fashion today so as not to be in Tazmanian devil mode tomorrow. Well........I did get 2 things done so far and it's only 2 pm.  There is hope for me yet! I find that this rings true in all areas of my life even the times I try to spend with Jesus. I am so easily distracted. Like an ostrich and shiny things. I have figured out tho that my best times to talk to Jesus is in the car with the radio turned off... can't get distracted by too much in there. But I'm not in my car everyday. We need to find what works for each of us in bringing our focus back to Jesus. Our nation needs to figure that out... our schools need to figure that out... our families need to figure that out.... but it starts with me and you and each individual. Bring the focus back to Jesus and love and grace. Bring the focus back to the present... what can I do to focus on those things this minute or this hour or this day because if I don't then....squirrel!

(a beautiful mantle sign that brings me back into focus in the living room of pinterest)

Seriously tho, how could this cute little Flickr squirrel not distract you? 

PS. about an oil for my scatterbrainedness.. actually, there is one... it's a young living oil called Vetiver...seems to be helping today... it's a little stinky tho..  but hey! If it works, right? 

Short but sweet.....

On the 22nd day of December, my daughter gave to me......(my gifts to Jesus)

My baking skills....... non existent, I'm no Betty Crocker, not much of a sweet tooth,

It is no secret that I do not bake. I do not have the skills required to do so. That is the skill of following directions. You have to follow a recipe to bake or it doesn't come out right,  right?  I can cook you under the table but will lose the baking contest every.single.time. I love cookbooks and will peruse them (or pinterest) all the time but rarely will you see me use it to actually cook a meal. I use them as "guidelines". You know, now that I think about it I'm not that way in real life. Or am I ?hmmmm....weird. I am a crazy, cuckoo, rule follower. I color inside the lines and freak out if I break a rule. But only in certain areas... like traffic laws or no trespassing signs.. other areas? Not so much. I have blue in my hair and ink on my skin and I am an old lady..perhaps too old for such shenanigans. Perhaps in cooking and other personal things, since they are not a life or death or incarceratible offenses (is that even a word?..ok I looked it up, it's incarcerable... I like mine better) anywho... since I can't go to jail for making bad cookies or meatloaf or having blue in my hair, I choose not to even follow the "rules'.  Haha..I'm such a rebel!  Well there is only one rule to follow when it comes to Jesus and that is to love Him with all my heart, mind, soul and strength. You know what? That is the easiest recipe ever! So while I attempt to bake some sort of Christmas confection and have it turn out edible I will remember that some rules are meant to follow or they won't turn out right. I have turned out right! Have you?

(cookie for Santa in the pinterest household)

Fear not...for I am with YOU!

On the 21st day of December my daughter gave to me..... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Fears........ crazy emotions welling up inside me, feelings of dread, being out of control, incapacitating, overwhelming, always in the back of my mind....

I know I touched on this 2 days ago but with certain circumstances coming up in the news, my fears are in overdrive.  I cried most of yesterday evening.... my heart gripped in incapacitating fear and overwhelmed with sympathy. The craziness of the society we now live in is unfathomable to me and yet I'm forced to live in the middle of it. It makes me angry. It overwhelms me. To be honest, it takes the air out of the room and it becomes hard for me to find the joy in anything. I can't let it do that .... I have to again, give it to Jesus. He knows my heart and how it so wants to live in Mayberry. He also know what I can deal with and grow from... knowing it will be rough for me but also knowing that I can handle it IF I ask Him to help me. So without further ado I will resume Christmas... I will let the fear die down into the depths of my being.... for it will never be squelched forever ....well maybe not until I do arrive in Heavenly Mayberry. People still need hope and joy and love and by golly I'm gonna try to spread that around instead of my fears allowing me to lock myself in my room. So.. here I go on wobbly legs..... smiling thru my fears!

(peaceful, beautiful barns that calm my soul found on Pinterest ranch)

Childish things....

On the 20th day of December my daughter gave to me...... (my gifts to Jesus)

the Magic of Christmas......... Santa, Elves, Christmas Trees, wrapping paper,jingle bells, Christmas Carols, mistletoe and of course the best one, Baby Jesus!

I am a child at heart. I am pretty easy to please with silly things. I love all the fun little things, the magical things that Christmas brings. I know..... some of you pass up the ideas of Santa and Christmas tress and such and that's ok for you .... but I love all of it. I'm not going to get all scientific or historical on you about the various traditions and how they came about. I just want to tell you how much I love them ...all!
For me, Santa embodies the jolly part of the season..His whole "get-up" just makes you smile doesn't it? Like a fun old Grandpa who takes the time to listen to your wants of toys and presents then quietly, while you are sleeping, delivers them.  The Elves? well they are Santa's helpers and bring the world of fantasy (ok Santa does too) and mischief to the season. What's not to love?  They also make sure we behave so Santa gets a good report so we make the nice list.  Some genius parent thought that one up and by golly it has worked, hasn't it mom's and dad's out there with little ones? Wrapping paper, Carols and jingle bells just add prettiness and music to our lives that bring happiness. Christmas Carols are enjoyed by all ages and music genres... it's unifying throughout the generations of a family. Mistletoe....well, who doesn't want to be kissed.  Does this take away from the "Reason for the Season", a cliche at best? In my ever so humble opinion I say nope.. not for me anyway.  By embracing the "secular" side of Christmas in no way diminishes my celebration for Jesus birth..in fact it makes it even more intense. Of course Baby Jesus is the reason for the season but he is the Reason for Everyday, every moment, every breath I breathe and I celebrate it daily. Don't you? So today I give Jesus my love and affection for the season of Christmas with all that it brings.... people loving on others, donating to those less fortunate, feeding the hungry, looking at Christmas lights with friends and family, buying for friends and family and opening presents selected just for you, watching for the impish elves to show up on shelves and listening on Christmas Eve for the sounds of Reindeer hooves on the roof, sitting in the quiet of the night with only the Christmas tree lights on and contemplating life and what Jesus has done for me. Knowing all the while that without Him coming to earth as a teeny tiny baby to save us none of this would matter because there wouldn't be any Christmas season to celebrate! So there you have it.... a silly girl who loves Jesus and delights in the sights and sounds of Christmas..... Take it or leave it...Fa la la la la la laaaaaaa!!!

(Santa walking his reindeer one Christmas in California on Pinterest beach)

Sheepdog Up this Christmas

On the 19th day of December my daughter gave to me...........(my gifts to Jesus)

My Sheepdog.......... my soul mate, my hunka hunka burnin love, your resident deputy, the protector of the sheep, the thin blue line between order and chaos...

Today is Wear Blue to support Law Enforcement day and not only did I wear blue but I dyed my hair with a thin blue line. I figured I'd show my appreciation and support everyday. You will never know my heart for this man unless you have loved a deputy or police officer. The slightest sound of a siren or a story on the news get's me going every time.. My heart is always on edge when he is working. Listening to radio traffic, when a horrific incident he was smack dab in the middle of, just hoping to hear his voice to know he was ok. My heart is always on edge. With all the hate lately against law enforcement it really scares me. Of course , as in every field, there are some bad apples but come on people don't you realize the things the Sheepdogs do for you. They don't know you but they will respond in your time of need. They don't know you but will put themselves in harms way to protect your child. They don't know you but they work way past shift's end to finish up a report for you all the while their family waits for them at home. They are trained to react to the world of chaos and have to make a life or death decision in a split second. My sheepdog came home the other day and said he hesitated to react on a call of what to do because of all the media flack from recent news. People, that scares me...he hesitated.. his mind was thinking of media and news and hate instead of at the crisis at hand. That is not okay. BUT! Jesus knows this and I know He is watching over my Sheepdog while he protects the sheep from the wolves. I know no matter what the outcome of a day brings I know Jesus has him in the palm of his hand and He has me there too. So today I will let down my guard..I will rest in the knowledge of God's perfect plan .... because I want to...because I need to. 

 (old English sheepdog, the protector of the sheep and Christmas trees, singing a pinterest carol)

(me sporting my thin blue line hair! )

Yakkity Yak...don't talk back!

On the 18th day of December my daughter gave to me..... (my gifts to Jesus)

My communication......... talking, writing, typing, body language, facial expressions, yelling screaming, laughing...

I am a communicator..... well actually, I just talk too much!  I interrupt people..it's a horrible habit and I am working on it. I tend to be thinking too fast and jump in with my thoughts before I am supposed to. (If you have experienced this when with me, I am so very sorry...I was not intending to be rude) But I do love listening to people and talking and typing to communicate my thoughts. I have decided to write down more with pen and paper...or perhaps with fingers on a keyboard, to communicate my thoughts to Jesus and to all of you. It's my way of sharing His love and why I am who I am... Just like God made me to be. I will give Him more prayer and talk time because I need Him and He deserves my time. I will also communicate to people why I appreciate them and love them more than I have. I appreciate you...yes, you.  Don't look over your shoulder like I'm talking to someone else in the room..YOU! I appreciate you! Whether I have known you for years or days or haven't met you face to face yet, I appreciate you taking your time to read my feeble words and getting to know me. I am pretty gosh darn transparent and that makes me pretty vulnerable. It's kind of scary putting all my feelings and thoughts out there, but basically I have always been a "what you see is what you get" kind of girl. So thank you for wanting to get to know the real me! Communication can build up or tear down.... I'm going to try my darndest to build up!  I am going to stop....try to stop..... interrupting.. my next thought is not as important as YOU are!! How are you going to change your communication skills?

(cute little one mailing a card to Santa at the Pinterest mailbox)

If you're Happy and you know it.....

On the 17th day of December  my daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My wit....... sense of humor, funny bone, laughing til I cry, the best medicine, 

I love to laugh. It hasn't always been that way. I went thru a bout of depression related to my PTSD from the 1992 6.9 earthquake that epicentered under our house. Those were not fun days.... not at all. Living rural and not wanting to go on long trips to a "shrink" I asked Jesus to help me get thru it and He did. (this is not to say that no one needs a Dr. I just wasn't so sick that I was able to work it out on my own) But here is what I did. I started on a JOY journey. I wrote down 3 things every night before bed that made me smile. The first few weeks were rough I could find much to be happy or joyful about. I'm breathing, the sun came up, a cup of coffee... those were some of the things that made it to my list. So sad, I know. But lo and behold I started to notice more and more that made me smile. Then I told myself "Self, now that you are able to see the joy, laugh out loud about it". So I started laughing more. Oh my goodness, oh. my.goodness! Of  course at first it was forced but then it flowed naturally. Do I have bad days? Of course I do.... remember my little holiday tantrum I had the other night? But honestly, laughter is great medicine! Joy should be the base line of our health because with it comes healing. I think Jesus laughs alot. I think I give Him reason for any laugh lines He has... I am always doing silly things and perhaps making a fool of myself. Those of you that know me would probably say I laugh alot...I even shout Hooray and Yeehaw alot ...oh! and I even clap my hands in joy!! You should try it sometime! Strap on some antlers and a red nose and go out into the world! 

So today I give Him my sense of humor. My ability to find the Joy in life. That He may help me to enjoy it even more and spread the laughter and Joy in a sometimes dark and scary world. Yippee!! 

(hilarious Rudolf bullie... how can you not smile when you see his pinterest experession!)

Amazing stuff

On the 16th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My wonder...... awestruck, can't believe my eyes, questioning the amazingness of it all

Have you ever seen something that just hits you hard in the awesome department? The thing that leaves you amazed at how wonderful it is?  Well I have. In fact I get amazed at so many things. Things that the normal Joe might not think is very amazing.  I'm amazed at the amount of stuff that creeps into my house and scatters itself everywhere while I sleep. Those clutter elves are pretty hard workers and do a really good job. I'm also amazed and how many pairs of socks get eaten by the washer/dryer. It is so hard to comprehend how amazing that is!  Ok, I jest ... I am actually amazed at how blessed I am for having a wonderful husband and awesome boys. I just don't understand how me, a silly girl with so many imperfections, is blessed with so many wonderful things. It really does blow my mind. But how about this.....  God looks down onto the earth He created and sees this silly girl and He sees you too... and He says I need to save them so they can come live with me someday.... what shall I do?   He decides to send His son, Jesus, (now mind you, God has one Son... one!) as a teeny tiny baby that grows up in our imperfect world. Who goes on to tell everyone of God's plan  and how much He loves us. Then he dies on a cross for a silly girl, and you too, just so we can be saved and go live with Him someday. Now that is amazing..... and that is what makes Christmas so special.. It's about the giving of the most amazing gift of all time.  It kind of makes that sweater or fruitcake gift seem so insignificant doesn't it?   I hope you are all filled with God's wonder today!!

(pretty decorations on the pinterest tree ... www.jenniferhayslip.com)

Ghost of Christmas Past

On the 14th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My Christmas Spirit....... the anticipation of everything Christmas, my love for decorating, the sweetness of traditions, the festive atmosphere, the movies & songs, Jesus laying in a manger ....... the Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge.

I love Christmas. I always have. From "Pucki", the elf who visited every year in Japan, where I grew up when I was teeny tiny (the original elf on a shelf), to even hanging the dreaded tinsel on the tree. Oh, how I hate tinsel. (probably because when we had tinsel growing up it was real metal and had to be saved and ironed... yes you heard that right...no wonder I hate it, right?) But everything else about Christmas, I love!  Then when I became a mommy we got to start our own traditions with two precious little boys. Oh what fun we had! This year though, something happened. The Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge came in the dark of night and stole my Christmas Spirit. They replaced it with apathy and "ehhh". The whole Christmas experience is changing for me. No more little ones to dazzle, tiny house constraints, working on Sundays, schedules to work around... basically an empty nest... it's been empty for awhile but I am feeling it this year like none other before. So here's where it got special for me last night.... Jesus came and sat with me in the light of the half decorated little chubby Christmas tree while I fussed and complained and cried.. (ok, some of that was due to Hormones). I've always known it but it really hit me last night that Christmas isn't about all the fluff of festivities or traditions or decorating. It's about me and Jesus and discovering once again the crazy, amazing love that Jesus has for me. That God, loved ME so much that he sent Jesus to not only die for me but to sit on my sofa with this hot mess of a woman dealing with a Holiday temper tantrum.

(vintage little girl with scrawny Christmas tree found on the streets of Pinterest)

Bonus photo of my little chubby Christmas tree hunted and gathered by 

my hunka hunka burnin love and littlest sonshine in a rain/sleet storm

Jesus Goggles

On the 13th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My critical spirit........ judging, comparing to my set of standards, my way or the highway...

I am pretty gosh darn critical. I hate to admit it but honestly, I am. I have this idea in my head of how something/someone should be and anything that diverts from that idea sparks my critical spirit.  Really?!  How bad is that? Like I am the supreme authority on all things. I am NOT.... But I do know who is and I need to put my Jesus goggles on and see things in His perspective.  Most things that get my grumblings going are so petty and have no consequence in eternal things that it is pretty pathetic. The BIG things are another matter and with love I can see them thru Jesus' eyes. But these dumb little stupid things that get my ire up...these have got to be dealt with!  So today I will put my goggles on, the Jesus ones that filter out the petty things, and smile!... and by using the Texan saying many times "Bless their heart" (but actually meaning it) perhaps my critical spirit will subside and grace will take it's place.

(Little decorating Santa pic by milkandhoneyphotography.ca/ )

Oh a hunting we will go....or not

On the 12th day of December my daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Best laid plans.... the perfect day, all the little details, arranging schedules, excitement for the day.

I'm a planner... in more ways than one. I like to plan our family's schedules (I am not a control freak....am I?) and I am a wedding planner. So I guess planning flows thru my veins. I am also pretty good at "winging it". However, I am not necessarily fond of winging it. But I find when I wing it, my creative side comes out much more fiercely and it usually ends up better than the original plan. (why is that?) So here I sit looking out my window seeing the slushy, wet, cold rain/snow fall from the sky and know that my plans for today to go hunting...for a Christmas tree... have been dashed. Probably. It's kinda that way with life too... my best laid plans might not be what Jesus wants for me. It's my plan not His that gets dashed. I know that if I listen to his voice I will find that the alternate plan, his original plan, is the best winging it plan ever! So I am going to put a big ol pot of Chili on the stove and see what transpires and if it is nothing other than sitting with my family over warm chili and crocheting up a storm to finish Christmas gifts it will be a good plan! What's your plan for this wintery stay inside day?

(beautiful snowy red house captured on pinterest by www.KenScottPhotography.com)

Winning!

On the 11th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My Competitive Spirit…. Wanting to win at all cost, to keep up with the “Jones’s”, to never settle for second place, to outshine the rest…

Oh my goodness do I have the need to be the best… hopefully not in a rude, obnoxious way but deep down inside I cringe if something I do is criticized and isn’t the best of the best. Seriously? That is not ok. I have a problem. I’m watching these cowboys hang on for dear life on the backs of  beautiful bucking broncos or nasty ol bulls and I wonder about my motives. The only thing they have to do is make sure they “Mark up” right out of the gate (a position of their feet) …that’s it..oh and hang on for 8 seconds.. but that’s it. No fanciness or technique is expected, just hang on and do the best you can. Why do I feel the need to have it all together all the time. They aren’t even competing with each other…they are just concentrating on their own ride and figuring out how to stay on and not get hurt in the process. Everyday life is the same, everyone is riding their own beast or beauty... I am not competing with them.  So Jesus, I am giving you my Competitive spirit…I am going to concentrate on not “Missing the Mark” and just hang on, enjoy the ride and take the bulls or broncs you have placed me on for the day and hang on!

( adorable little Norwegian girl taken by  Per  Breiehagen .. www.breiehagen.com/ )

Bon Appetit' ......

On the 10th day of December my daughter gave to me.....(my gifts to Jesus)

My appetite… the want for yumminess, the need for more, a craving, a hankering, an unrelenting “want”, my eyes are bigger than my stomach syndrome. (especially today as I am in Vegas at a HUGE buffet and I need to try it all)

I have a big ol craving for sushi. Pretty much all the time. If I am trying to decide what to eat or where to go out to dine, Sushi pops into my head first. I also have an unrelenting “want” for prettiness, especially in my décor. (which can get expensive, yikes) I also want to be in tune to Jesus. I have conversations with him all the time, really I do. It’s like I have that Star trek blue tooth attachment on the side of my head talking to him all day long.. and yes it is sometimes out loud. It satisfies my cravings to be close to Him. But did you know there are appetite suppressants? Yes, Grapefruit oil is one of them and I do use it for suppressing my want for lots of food. (it works and is refreshing too) But there are Jesus appetite suppressants too… like stress and busyness and pre-occupation. So today I give you my Appetite for you, Jesus. May it be an  appetite I cannot suppress. To learn to talk to you even more, to hear what you want me to hear!  So…Bon Appetit!

(jingle bell and twine utensil idea found on http://www.siegelthurston.com/)

On the Road again.....

On the 9th day of December my daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Travel Itinerary… the highlighted AAA trip tic maps (remember those?),  passports and ID…. destination points… the food stops (of utmost importance!)

On the road today and I am eagerly anticipating a mini vacation with friends and family and a bunch of crazy cowboys. But I must make the most of the actual travel. I love road trips, my audience is captured in a small metal box on wheels for the entire time. Talk about a captive audience. All kidding aside , I have had the best conversations with my traveling companions over the years. My hunka, hunka, burnin love and I have discussed at length things like parenting, vacations, future plans for our lives in our golden years (approaching at lightning speed). It’s a time of no distractions. We always stop at historical markers and interesting vantage points, making the most of our travel experience. I must make sure tho that my travel itinerary of my days on this earth are filled with pit stops of importance, stops to love on people, to sometimes stand quietly and take in the beauty around me that was created for me and to appreciate even the smallest nuances of being a captive audience while Jesus is at the wheel. 

(little roadster pic found on pinterest & www.sara-annephotography.com/blog )

Hurry up already!!

On the 8th day of December my daughter gave to me .... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Impatience.... the hurry up already attitude....antsy....immediate gratification mindset.
We are an immediate gratification craving people, aren't we? Fast food, movies on demand, weight loss miracle pills..you name it we want it NOW!  Me too, folks, me too!  (especially in the weight loss and starting a new business dept) I find myself getting irritated at God's timing sometimes... is that a bad thing? I am human and am allowed to get irritated but how I deal with it is what I need to be concerned about. And, yes I have shaken my fist at the sky...probably not the best reaction but it was honest! (I think God smiled at that.. I do tend to entertain Him with my conversations with him I think!)  I have asked/begged/pleaded with God for certain things to happen and He sometimes says YES! Hooray! Yeeehaw!  I get so excited because He made it clear it was a yes... But.....(there's that big ol "B"word..) the timing is a whole different matter. So here I sit thinking it all needs to move faster when it hits me upside the head....God's 2x4... He said "yes" why am I worried about the timing...He said Yes...so if I am smack dab in the center of His will for a particular situation why, oh, why am I upset about the timing? He said Yes!  So now I am sitting here thinking of what I need to do next in certain "yes" situations that will grow me thru them. God gave me a brain and blessed me with talents and gifts so therefore I need to exercise them (along with my aging body) to get the best results...to make the most of my time in the waiting room! So I give Jesus my impatience all the while praying for patience!!

impatient little santa captured by www.melaniepainter.com