Fear not...for I am with YOU!

On the 21st day of December my daughter gave to me..... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Fears........ crazy emotions welling up inside me, feelings of dread, being out of control, incapacitating, overwhelming, always in the back of my mind....

I know I touched on this 2 days ago but with certain circumstances coming up in the news, my fears are in overdrive.  I cried most of yesterday evening.... my heart gripped in incapacitating fear and overwhelmed with sympathy. The craziness of the society we now live in is unfathomable to me and yet I'm forced to live in the middle of it. It makes me angry. It overwhelms me. To be honest, it takes the air out of the room and it becomes hard for me to find the joy in anything. I can't let it do that .... I have to again, give it to Jesus. He knows my heart and how it so wants to live in Mayberry. He also know what I can deal with and grow from... knowing it will be rough for me but also knowing that I can handle it IF I ask Him to help me. So without further ado I will resume Christmas... I will let the fear die down into the depths of my being.... for it will never be squelched forever ....well maybe not until I do arrive in Heavenly Mayberry. People still need hope and joy and love and by golly I'm gonna try to spread that around instead of my fears allowing me to lock myself in my room. So.. here I go on wobbly legs..... smiling thru my fears!

(peaceful, beautiful barns that calm my soul found on Pinterest ranch)

Sheepdog Up this Christmas

On the 19th day of December my daughter gave to me...........(my gifts to Jesus)

My Sheepdog.......... my soul mate, my hunka hunka burnin love, your resident deputy, the protector of the sheep, the thin blue line between order and chaos...

Today is Wear Blue to support Law Enforcement day and not only did I wear blue but I dyed my hair with a thin blue line. I figured I'd show my appreciation and support everyday. You will never know my heart for this man unless you have loved a deputy or police officer. The slightest sound of a siren or a story on the news get's me going every time.. My heart is always on edge when he is working. Listening to radio traffic, when a horrific incident he was smack dab in the middle of, just hoping to hear his voice to know he was ok. My heart is always on edge. With all the hate lately against law enforcement it really scares me. Of course , as in every field, there are some bad apples but come on people don't you realize the things the Sheepdogs do for you. They don't know you but they will respond in your time of need. They don't know you but will put themselves in harms way to protect your child. They don't know you but they work way past shift's end to finish up a report for you all the while their family waits for them at home. They are trained to react to the world of chaos and have to make a life or death decision in a split second. My sheepdog came home the other day and said he hesitated to react on a call of what to do because of all the media flack from recent news. People, that scares me...he hesitated.. his mind was thinking of media and news and hate instead of at the crisis at hand. That is not okay. BUT! Jesus knows this and I know He is watching over my Sheepdog while he protects the sheep from the wolves. I know no matter what the outcome of a day brings I know Jesus has him in the palm of his hand and He has me there too. So today I will let down my guard..I will rest in the knowledge of God's perfect plan .... because I want to...because I need to. 

 (old English sheepdog, the protector of the sheep and Christmas trees, singing a pinterest carol)

(me sporting my thin blue line hair! )

Yakkity Yak...don't talk back!

On the 18th day of December my daughter gave to me..... (my gifts to Jesus)

My communication......... talking, writing, typing, body language, facial expressions, yelling screaming, laughing...

I am a communicator..... well actually, I just talk too much!  I interrupt people..it's a horrible habit and I am working on it. I tend to be thinking too fast and jump in with my thoughts before I am supposed to. (If you have experienced this when with me, I am so very sorry...I was not intending to be rude) But I do love listening to people and talking and typing to communicate my thoughts. I have decided to write down more with pen and paper...or perhaps with fingers on a keyboard, to communicate my thoughts to Jesus and to all of you. It's my way of sharing His love and why I am who I am... Just like God made me to be. I will give Him more prayer and talk time because I need Him and He deserves my time. I will also communicate to people why I appreciate them and love them more than I have. I appreciate you...yes, you.  Don't look over your shoulder like I'm talking to someone else in the room..YOU! I appreciate you! Whether I have known you for years or days or haven't met you face to face yet, I appreciate you taking your time to read my feeble words and getting to know me. I am pretty gosh darn transparent and that makes me pretty vulnerable. It's kind of scary putting all my feelings and thoughts out there, but basically I have always been a "what you see is what you get" kind of girl. So thank you for wanting to get to know the real me! Communication can build up or tear down.... I'm going to try my darndest to build up!  I am going to stop....try to stop..... interrupting.. my next thought is not as important as YOU are!! How are you going to change your communication skills?

(cute little one mailing a card to Santa at the Pinterest mailbox)

If you're Happy and you know it.....

On the 17th day of December  my daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My wit....... sense of humor, funny bone, laughing til I cry, the best medicine, 

I love to laugh. It hasn't always been that way. I went thru a bout of depression related to my PTSD from the 1992 6.9 earthquake that epicentered under our house. Those were not fun days.... not at all. Living rural and not wanting to go on long trips to a "shrink" I asked Jesus to help me get thru it and He did. (this is not to say that no one needs a Dr. I just wasn't so sick that I was able to work it out on my own) But here is what I did. I started on a JOY journey. I wrote down 3 things every night before bed that made me smile. The first few weeks were rough I could find much to be happy or joyful about. I'm breathing, the sun came up, a cup of coffee... those were some of the things that made it to my list. So sad, I know. But lo and behold I started to notice more and more that made me smile. Then I told myself "Self, now that you are able to see the joy, laugh out loud about it". So I started laughing more. Oh my goodness, oh. my.goodness! Of  course at first it was forced but then it flowed naturally. Do I have bad days? Of course I do.... remember my little holiday tantrum I had the other night? But honestly, laughter is great medicine! Joy should be the base line of our health because with it comes healing. I think Jesus laughs alot. I think I give Him reason for any laugh lines He has... I am always doing silly things and perhaps making a fool of myself. Those of you that know me would probably say I laugh alot...I even shout Hooray and Yeehaw alot ...oh! and I even clap my hands in joy!! You should try it sometime! Strap on some antlers and a red nose and go out into the world! 

So today I give Him my sense of humor. My ability to find the Joy in life. That He may help me to enjoy it even more and spread the laughter and Joy in a sometimes dark and scary world. Yippee!! 

(hilarious Rudolf bullie... how can you not smile when you see his pinterest experession!)

Amazing stuff

On the 16th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My wonder...... awestruck, can't believe my eyes, questioning the amazingness of it all

Have you ever seen something that just hits you hard in the awesome department? The thing that leaves you amazed at how wonderful it is?  Well I have. In fact I get amazed at so many things. Things that the normal Joe might not think is very amazing.  I'm amazed at the amount of stuff that creeps into my house and scatters itself everywhere while I sleep. Those clutter elves are pretty hard workers and do a really good job. I'm also amazed and how many pairs of socks get eaten by the washer/dryer. It is so hard to comprehend how amazing that is!  Ok, I jest ... I am actually amazed at how blessed I am for having a wonderful husband and awesome boys. I just don't understand how me, a silly girl with so many imperfections, is blessed with so many wonderful things. It really does blow my mind. But how about this.....  God looks down onto the earth He created and sees this silly girl and He sees you too... and He says I need to save them so they can come live with me someday.... what shall I do?   He decides to send His son, Jesus, (now mind you, God has one Son... one!) as a teeny tiny baby that grows up in our imperfect world. Who goes on to tell everyone of God's plan  and how much He loves us. Then he dies on a cross for a silly girl, and you too, just so we can be saved and go live with Him someday. Now that is amazing..... and that is what makes Christmas so special.. It's about the giving of the most amazing gift of all time.  It kind of makes that sweater or fruitcake gift seem so insignificant doesn't it?   I hope you are all filled with God's wonder today!!

(pretty decorations on the pinterest tree ... www.jenniferhayslip.com)

An Apple a Day and an oil or two!

On the 15th of December my Daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Health...... Physiological and mental health, feeling good, sickness free, an apple a day

I'm pretty healthy...knock on wood.. I think. However, I am a tad nervous today as it is time for the dreaded yearly physical exam and blood work.... girls , you know what I mean. Ugh.  I'm nervous because I am getting older and "fluffier" and some of my friends are having serious health concerns that make me anxious to find out about my insides. I try to be healthy in my food decisions and I have recently fallen in love with essential oils to help me deal with aging issues like those darn hormones and pain and my "fluffiness". And boy do they work! I know I should move more but if it involves the word exercise, then I am adversely allergic to it! (I'm looking for an oil for that!..lol) All I know is that if I do my part in keeping healthy then the rest is in Jesus hands and if I find out I am sick or diagnosed with a scary disease or ailment then I know that He will carry me thru the process. My heart is so full for my precious friends who are on a scary ride regarding their health or that of their children.... I wish there was something I could do to heal them but alas I am not a healer. Jesus is! But what He chooses to heal might not be our definition of healing. So today I give Him my health. That no matter what condition my body is in I will lean on Him!
oxoxoxoxoxoxoxo  to my girlfriends near and far who are battling for their lives.......♥

(vintage girlfriends hugging on Pinterest)

Jesus Goggles

On the 13th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My critical spirit........ judging, comparing to my set of standards, my way or the highway...

I am pretty gosh darn critical. I hate to admit it but honestly, I am. I have this idea in my head of how something/someone should be and anything that diverts from that idea sparks my critical spirit.  Really?!  How bad is that? Like I am the supreme authority on all things. I am NOT.... But I do know who is and I need to put my Jesus goggles on and see things in His perspective.  Most things that get my grumblings going are so petty and have no consequence in eternal things that it is pretty pathetic. The BIG things are another matter and with love I can see them thru Jesus' eyes. But these dumb little stupid things that get my ire up...these have got to be dealt with!  So today I will put my goggles on, the Jesus ones that filter out the petty things, and smile!... and by using the Texan saying many times "Bless their heart" (but actually meaning it) perhaps my critical spirit will subside and grace will take it's place.

(Little decorating Santa pic by milkandhoneyphotography.ca/ )

Oh a hunting we will go....or not

On the 12th day of December my daughter gave to me.... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Best laid plans.... the perfect day, all the little details, arranging schedules, excitement for the day.

I'm a planner... in more ways than one. I like to plan our family's schedules (I am not a control freak....am I?) and I am a wedding planner. So I guess planning flows thru my veins. I am also pretty good at "winging it". However, I am not necessarily fond of winging it. But I find when I wing it, my creative side comes out much more fiercely and it usually ends up better than the original plan. (why is that?) So here I sit looking out my window seeing the slushy, wet, cold rain/snow fall from the sky and know that my plans for today to go hunting...for a Christmas tree... have been dashed. Probably. It's kinda that way with life too... my best laid plans might not be what Jesus wants for me. It's my plan not His that gets dashed. I know that if I listen to his voice I will find that the alternate plan, his original plan, is the best winging it plan ever! So I am going to put a big ol pot of Chili on the stove and see what transpires and if it is nothing other than sitting with my family over warm chili and crocheting up a storm to finish Christmas gifts it will be a good plan! What's your plan for this wintery stay inside day?

(beautiful snowy red house captured on pinterest by www.KenScottPhotography.com)

Bon Appetit' ......

On the 10th day of December my daughter gave to me.....(my gifts to Jesus)

My appetite… the want for yumminess, the need for more, a craving, a hankering, an unrelenting “want”, my eyes are bigger than my stomach syndrome. (especially today as I am in Vegas at a HUGE buffet and I need to try it all)

I have a big ol craving for sushi. Pretty much all the time. If I am trying to decide what to eat or where to go out to dine, Sushi pops into my head first. I also have an unrelenting “want” for prettiness, especially in my décor. (which can get expensive, yikes) I also want to be in tune to Jesus. I have conversations with him all the time, really I do. It’s like I have that Star trek blue tooth attachment on the side of my head talking to him all day long.. and yes it is sometimes out loud. It satisfies my cravings to be close to Him. But did you know there are appetite suppressants? Yes, Grapefruit oil is one of them and I do use it for suppressing my want for lots of food. (it works and is refreshing too) But there are Jesus appetite suppressants too… like stress and busyness and pre-occupation. So today I give you my Appetite for you, Jesus. May it be an  appetite I cannot suppress. To learn to talk to you even more, to hear what you want me to hear!  So…Bon Appetit!

(jingle bell and twine utensil idea found on http://www.siegelthurston.com/)

Hurry up already!!

On the 8th day of December my daughter gave to me .... (my gifts to Jesus)

My Impatience.... the hurry up already attitude....antsy....immediate gratification mindset.
We are an immediate gratification craving people, aren't we? Fast food, movies on demand, weight loss miracle pills..you name it we want it NOW!  Me too, folks, me too!  (especially in the weight loss and starting a new business dept) I find myself getting irritated at God's timing sometimes... is that a bad thing? I am human and am allowed to get irritated but how I deal with it is what I need to be concerned about. And, yes I have shaken my fist at the sky...probably not the best reaction but it was honest! (I think God smiled at that.. I do tend to entertain Him with my conversations with him I think!)  I have asked/begged/pleaded with God for certain things to happen and He sometimes says YES! Hooray! Yeeehaw!  I get so excited because He made it clear it was a yes... But.....(there's that big ol "B"word..) the timing is a whole different matter. So here I sit thinking it all needs to move faster when it hits me upside the head....God's 2x4... He said "yes" why am I worried about the timing...He said Yes...so if I am smack dab in the center of His will for a particular situation why, oh, why am I upset about the timing? He said Yes!  So now I am sitting here thinking of what I need to do next in certain "yes" situations that will grow me thru them. God gave me a brain and blessed me with talents and gifts so therefore I need to exercise them (along with my aging body) to get the best results...to make the most of my time in the waiting room! So I give Jesus my impatience all the while praying for patience!!

impatient little santa captured by www.melaniepainter.com

Dream a little Dream of me...

On the 6th of December my daughter gave to me:

My dreams… the lofty ideas you tuck in your heart, outlandish ideas you hope will be possible to achieve, the thing that happens when you sleep. 

I’m a huge dreamer. Yup, from future log homes, to outlandish vacations, to comfortable retirement options, to expanding my jobs/passions of Oils and weddings that I get paid to do and even grandbaby outings (when they eventually arrive… not rushing anything...they will be here in God’s timing but just sayin…) But what are my dreams really?  Selfish ones at best. Where are my dreams for eternity and for love and joy and world peace? I need to  expand my dreams, not throw them out with the bathwater, but enhance them with Jesus goggles. To infuse them with God’s will and timing because then they will be reality thoughts or goals and not lofty dreams!!  Sleep tight my friends and infuse your goals and dreams with Jesus!

(dreaming puppies from barkpost.com)

Tick tock

On the 5th day of December my daughter gave to me. ..

My Time.... the ticking of the tock, the minutes and the hours, the free time and chock full of busy time.

I'm so very guilty of wasting time.  You see, I'm a huge procrastinator. .. yup, now you know. I have figured out I work best under pressure or a deadline. That's why being a caterer and wedding planner work so good for me. Working like the Tazmanian devil to the drop dead time. But I digress.... I wait til the last minute to do anything and everything and then it's a whirlwind of activity, at times chaotic and full of frustrated tears of my own doing. So dumb. So this time I'm  giving Jesus my time.... time for Him yes, but even more time to pace myself in all my activities so I  can enjoy the process and perhaps see blessings or miracles along the way. So instead of Fast and Furious, it's Slow and Steady..... pray for me this will be a rough ride!

Umbrellas and Bumbershoots!

On the 4th day of December my daughter gave to me. ..

My umbrella..... the thing that you pop up over your head the minute it starts raining. .. The colorful fabric stretched over spokes to ward off wet hair in inclement  weather.   People look at rain as a bad thing that messes up their day and hair. It's looked at as an inconvenience at best. But what if the rain drops were drops of blessing and joy and laughter and promises?  Would we be so quick to pop up our Bumbershoots? Our parched, drought stricken ground here in Cali is soaking up the nourishment  from the sky. I am giving Jesus my umbrella of fear and doubt.... no more covering and cowering under a brightly colored piece of flimsy fabric of self doubt!  I'm gonna dance in the rain of His love and grace and relish the feel of those delicious drops of blessings and joy! I need the nourishment. .... Will you join me ?

Pinterest rain dancers

Trust....tried and true

On the second day of December my daughter gave to me. ...

My Trust..... the whole hearted, all in, never falter, no second guessing kind of trust. Why is it that even knowing and experiencing the steadfastness (is that even a word?) of God, my feeble minded self gets all weird and frantic about my future. So today I give Jesus my trust. As long as I'm listening and doing my simple part He will direct my path. ... I know this to be true. ... tried and true!

(Evergreen Pinterest dress)

December... the last month of the year

December..... already?  Well. since it is, I will be starting this journal type blog. December means gifts and presents and joy and laughter and singing!! So without further ado here goes! (I'm nervous tho, never done a blog from my heart before so bare with me) The singing boys of Pinterest will start me out on the right track!!

Also I will credit any photo I know who to credit. If I don't I will site where I found it!! 

Theme of the month is "what I am giving to Jesus"

On this first day of December my daughter gave to me.... 

Anxiety.... the kind that niggles at your brain, the dumb self talk that you aren't good enough to make it thru a project. The anxieties of not being good enough. I give them to Jesus because I know HE loves me for me and I am enough!