Ghost of Christmas Past

On the 14th day of December my daughter gave to me....(my gifts to Jesus)

My Christmas Spirit....... the anticipation of everything Christmas, my love for decorating, the sweetness of traditions, the festive atmosphere, the movies & songs, Jesus laying in a manger ....... the Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge.

I love Christmas. I always have. From "Pucki", the elf who visited every year in Japan, where I grew up when I was teeny tiny (the original elf on a shelf), to even hanging the dreaded tinsel on the tree. Oh, how I hate tinsel. (probably because when we had tinsel growing up it was real metal and had to be saved and ironed... yes you heard that right...no wonder I hate it, right?) But everything else about Christmas, I love!  Then when I became a mommy we got to start our own traditions with two precious little boys. Oh what fun we had! This year though, something happened. The Grinch and Ebeneezer Scrooge came in the dark of night and stole my Christmas Spirit. They replaced it with apathy and "ehhh". The whole Christmas experience is changing for me. No more little ones to dazzle, tiny house constraints, working on Sundays, schedules to work around... basically an empty nest... it's been empty for awhile but I am feeling it this year like none other before. So here's where it got special for me last night.... Jesus came and sat with me in the light of the half decorated little chubby Christmas tree while I fussed and complained and cried.. (ok, some of that was due to Hormones). I've always known it but it really hit me last night that Christmas isn't about all the fluff of festivities or traditions or decorating. It's about me and Jesus and discovering once again the crazy, amazing love that Jesus has for me. That God, loved ME so much that he sent Jesus to not only die for me but to sit on my sofa with this hot mess of a woman dealing with a Holiday temper tantrum.

(vintage little girl with scrawny Christmas tree found on the streets of Pinterest)

Bonus photo of my little chubby Christmas tree hunted and gathered by 

my hunka hunka burnin love and littlest sonshine in a rain/sleet storm